start. people. places. things. me. | island profilin'

An illustration of my life, loves and various random information
that you may or may not find the least bit useful...
all from the island of St. Simons.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Homosexuality and a Lighthouse

No, I have nothing against Homosexuals. Do I think it is right? No. Do I think it is a sin? Absolutely, but don't we all sin? Do I agree with their lifestyle? No. But, do I have anything against them as people... Well, I haven't met that many, but the ones I have I like. So, what's my point? I had this interesting conversation this afternoon with a friend (whom I haven't seen since High School) at the Gym all about this. My wife calls me a media connoisseur (in a mocking tone), because I am actively interested in the media's effect on our daily lives. Here's my thesis:

The media in it's current state - because it is ever changing - is fixated on portraying the homosexual individual, lifestyle and cultural as being hip and cool. Consider it a fad. It's cool to be a lesbian today. It's associated with such liberal (not the political connotation) terms as "free-spirited", "different" and "chic". Come on! Don't believe me? Would a movie like Broke Back Mountain have every been made in the 90's? No, people associated homosexuality with AIDS back then. I guess people forgot about that when Madonna and Brittany kissed. You have 14-year-old freshman talking about how they are gay. It's like they want to be seen as different, they feel insecure, and they see on MTV how cool it is to be gay. They don't know if they are or not. Have they had sex with someone of the opposite sex yet? No. Have they kissed someone of the opposite sex yet? No. Well damn, that must make them gay. I remember when being different was wearing Birkenstocks when no one else did. I guess homosexuality is the next Arizona.

I think it just really bugs me because the parents aren't doing anything about it. Yes, one can make the argument that they may not know... Rightfully said. However, they do have the power to instill the morals and ethics into the child that lead in making the right decision. Birkenstocks may have been a comfortable and wide-spread fad, but homosexuality is much more than just a pair of shoes. We're talking serious issues here... these kids can't just wake up and decided that they are gay.... "Jenny broke up with me, I'll show her, I'm going to date Brian." Oh, or my favorite: "I'm sick of boys, my last (and consequentially first) boyfriend broke my heart, from now on I'm going to wear flannel and date only women."

Conclusion and Clarification: I am not judging. We all have sin, so who am I to say any one's persons sin is greater than mine own? I'm not. I have a friend that's gay, and he's a great guy... really down to earth. What's the point I am trying to make? Simply this. I am not bashing homosexuality, I am bashing the media for making it seem hip. Homosexuality is a big deal, in whatever way you look at it, and the media is stamping it's "uber-holy" (written sarcastically) approval to all things gay. If you are gay, fine... but don't do so just because you saw Broke Back Mountain over the weekend and have nothing better to do. It just scares me. What's next? Will we live to see the day when it's cool to have babies in High School? All it takes is for one celebrity to get pregnant young. Some whole special will air on how, despite she had a baby at 17, she managed to keep her figure, grades and six-digit acting salary all together. She'll name it something trendy like Addison, and all the girls will think it's cool to be the young-mommy that's hip on maternity-wear. Coming to theatres near you, "Young with Young: The epic tale of one girl's journey through motherhood and her ability to overcome."

So anyways, we had a good time on Sapelo. It was nice and cold, just the way I liked it. We had great weather, great for shooting. I haven't had a chance to process much of the images, but here is one to wet your whistle. I'll post the link to some more when I get them up. Enjoy!

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've been preaching that the media subconsciously influences people for a long time, and i really believe it too... But i don't think someone is going to make-out with someone from the same sex because they think it's cool... if you're hooking up in a homosexual manner of your own volition and you're enjoying it, chances are you're homosexual, and you always have been. I think you're born onto a "team," and there's no trading between the hetero's and homo's. Fortunately i was born onto the team for which i have the appropriate equipment... GO TEAM HETERO! but best of luck to team homo.

Anonymous said...

Hhhhhhmmm, as a high school teacher I have to disagree with that statement. And only because I've seen what Ben is talking about happen more than once.

Anonymous said...

I am going to have to agree with bum. I think it is something that you are born with, not a decision that comes about merely because you are bored with the opposite gender, sexually. While i will agree, there is more experimentation with bisexuality nowadays, i do not believe that people are gay simply because it is a trend.
Brokeback Mountain was originally a book, and i am not positive, but wasnt it written during the 90s? and did it not win awards for its unique description of a love affair between two individuals?
I guess this would be the liberal side of me talking (do i have another?) but i do not think it is a sin. If two people care about each other, why cant they be together. The media throws the 'accepted' relationships at us much more that the 'unaccepted', why is it now, with this one movie, that people are getting uptight about homosexuality. Is it because it is right there in your face? It is a side of people that you choose not to want to know about, and there it is, plastered all over the movie screen? is it because it forces you to see something you dont want to see? My personal opinion, if you dont like the idea of homosexuality, dont see the movie.
Sorry for the long winded comment, but it appears to me, Ben, that simply by that blog alone that you are judging. Intentionally? Probly not, but you are, at least subconsciously. How is it unethical and immoral to be in a committed relationship with someone you care about?

Ben said...

Good point... Ethics and morals are traits that are unique to each individual, and therefor what seems immoral depends on how the individual defines his/her morals. I personally deem homosexuality as immoral behaviour because I believe that love, in that nature, was intended for a man and a woman, not two cowboys. However, saying that, I cannot claim that my opinion is right or wrong, just as I can't state yours is either. Am I judging members of team Homo? No. Do I agree with their game strategy? No. And for the record, going along with the same pretense as earlier, I personally believe that being born with homosexuality is Bullshit. Everybody has a choice, I don't think you can come out of the whomb gay. But then again, this is my opinion, so... don't get too fired up. Aren't we all entitled to our own?

Anonymous said...

I have no problems with a homosexual relationship, by that I mean I dont think it is neccessarily "wrong" as some people like to suggest. I tend to agree with Goat in her stance on being with someone you love or care about.

The only problem I have with it (and I have a problem with a man/woman relationship) is the excessive PDA. As long as I dont have to hear about or see what is going on in said relationships then everything is fine and I have no problems with it.

Anyways that is my point on it, if anyone cares

Dr.T said...

I actually took a media and diversity class last semester, and portrayls of gay and lesbian couples in the media has been a big issue for a long time.

First I have to say that the media has been progressively, over the last few years, become more accepting of showing gays on TV. And it is the new cool thing to do, but I don't mean for highschoolers, I mean if you want to make a movie that is going to win some awards, throw in some gay themes, it'll go places. That really is the thinking in hollywood these days.

That said, during class last semester, we talked about when someone "decides" as you guys have been calling it, to be gay. And it isn't really a decision, more a set of circumstances. There are several views on where and how someone ends up on "team homo."

The first is that it is entirely a biological trait, assigned at birth. The thinking that someone was assigned the wrong sex at conception.

The second is that it is a socialization process, and that throughout someone's life through a little socialization here, a little absent fathering there, and a little more socialization there, someone decides that they are gay.

Finally there is the final school of thought that it is a combination of these first two. There are biological factors which presdispose someone to be gay and that through sociailization they come to realize that they are gay. This is the theory which holds the most credence for me.

That being said, high school is a very trying time for teens, as it was for all of us. Kids are mean, teen relationships are more than a little rough. A lot of kids figure out that they're gay in high school, which may be why some of you guys think that kids just do this to be "cool." Some of them do it for just that reason, but high school is a confusing time. But I guarantee you that there are people in high school that genuinely are trying to figure out their sexual orientation.

I guess I'm just saying don't attribute all kids in high school coming out to the new gay chic.

And as for whether or not being gay is a sin, my religion tells me that living a gay lifestyle is living in sin. And I think I used to buy into that, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've made some really good friends since I've moved here, and one of my closest friends is gay, and she has a great family with two great kids. I think she is one of the smartest people that I know, and I admire her and her partner more than most people that I've met. So that said, I'll just throw out this question, how can we be told to think people are living in sin if they live an admirable life?

Dan T.,
Graduate Student, Syracuse University

Anonymous said...

I love you Ben, and we should always just tend to agree to disagree- on most every discussion (are there 2 s's?) had on this blog.
That being said, however, i will throw out some things here. Now, being that i am a biologist, and rely on science rather than faith i know that you will disagree, but hear me out....
I do not believe that 'love' was intended for a man/woman. I believe that men and women, initially, were together to create offspring and in that offspring, their genes were carried on. I believe that our development of a greater capacity to think and feel eventually led us to the emotion of love and allowed us to feel it for another individual.
I now believe that since there is no longer a biological need to reproduce, the genes in certain individuals have been altered through generations- thus creating what we now call homosexuality.
I realize that there are many out there who do not like to think that we came from chimps; but there is a lot of common traits that we share with them. One of those being homosexuality.
If it is really something that we choose to be rather than something we are born with, then why do we find it throughout nature?
And furthermore, if it is something that we choose, why, especially before it became 'accepted', would people have condemned themselved to a life full of criticism and neglect? just to make a point that they are not a part of the 'norm'? i dont think so....

Anonymous said...

All humans are born into sin regardless of the life they lead. The Bible is the authority of what is right or wrong for Christians. The Bible is clear about homosexuality.

Anonymous said...

What does judging others mean? That is a word that is thrown around quite a bit. Ben has made it very clear that he thinks the lifestyle in sinful. What is judgemental about that? He is a Christian, and according to the Christian faith, homosexuality is a sin. He's not condemning homosexuals as people, just the lifestyle. Besides, this is HIS blog and he can say whatever he wants to. SO, I would say that he's not judging. He's pointing out what he believes is a sin according to the Bible.

Anonymous said...

Yes, kelly, it is his blog and he has the right to his own opinions- no one is denying that. But saying that he is/is not judging merely because this his HIS blog, is not a correct statement. Yes, he has pointed out what he believes to be sinful, but isn't condeming a particular lifestyle (not the people) still judging? And isn't that judgment just as sinful as practicing homosexuality itself?

I think that this may be the first blog where Dan T., "Graduate Student", and I agree about something....

Anonymous said...

NO!! How can you call something sinful without condemning it? THe nature of sin is something that is condemnable- thus sinful- and needed to be stopped!!! It's not judging. Well, I guess it is to the degree that you make a judgment if something is sinful or not, but actually he's not, he's accepting what the bible has deemed sinful. The word judging was always used in the Bible to mean condemning someone for something you do.

Anonymous said...

You know Goat, we shouldn't have even tried to debate with one another! nuthin but love 4 ya.

Anonymous said...

smart people would know that this conversation along with politics is stupid to even bring up! especially in the company of goat AND kelly!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but it's fun to debate isn't it?

Anonymous said...

btw, Katie, when are you coming home?

Anonymous said...

It is fun to debate and we both know that we have completely differing opinions-on EVERYTHING- and that this debate could go on forever, but who cares, it makes work pass a little more quickly.

Kelly, i have a question for you. I realize that the bible is God's word and you should take as such, without question; however, have you ever thought that since it was written by man it is subject to the same flaws and misinterpretations that everything done by man has had since the beginning of time? And if it truely is flawed are you not allowed to question some of the things in it?

Anonymous said...

I believe that since God is superior to man, He has controlled what has gone into the Bible over the hundreds of thousands of years. Yes, I agree that things have been changed- there is proof of that, but I believe that God still controls what goes in and what is essential to the Christain faith.

It's not that I don't question what the Bible says, everyone should know why they believe something. It's just that even if I question somehting in the Bible, I still know that it is true- and God has always ulitmately revealed why to me.

Nicole said...

hey Ben, whatup. I haven't any substantial comments, just wanted to say hey. Especially since you inspired Dan to get another blog :)

Anonymous said...

okay, i am tired of this debate now... lets start another hot one, how bout abortion, oh, or stem cell research ;) hehe... love you kel (and ben)!

Oh, so paul and i went to that new brew & cue the other night. it was lots of fun. they have a juke box, 6 pool tables and a fully stocked bar (with food). Kelly, they even have a table in the back corner for you to pass out on while everyone else plays.... we should go one night

Anonymous said...

Can we have a thread on the Duke-UNC game. I'm sure Angie would love to talk about that one. HAHAHA

Anonymous said...

OH SNAP! goat called out Kelly! hahahahaha i'm definitely down for some casey's brew and cue

Anonymous said...

hahahaha. i love to watch kelly and goat debate!

im coming home friday afternoon kelly.

Anonymous said...

Is there something big happening this weekend? Or are you just coming home...
Yes, a debate between kelly and i is always fun because we never change sides and no one will ever win (though i did on this one ;)) hehe

Anonymous said...

WHAT? you won, are you kidding me? I think I pointed plenty of holes in your argument. ha!

No, Katie's just coming home, I think we are going to dinner Friday night. I was also pointing out that I knew anonymous was Katie. Since only a few people regularly respond on the blog, we all learn each other's writing styles. After dinner Friday I'm going to see Capote even if no one comes with me!

Anonymous said...

actually there is something going on. a huge 21st bday party for a lot of people on friday. (yall can all keep waiting for mine!) plus i need a little r&r after this past week.

yes, most anonymous posts are me!

p.s. whats capote? lets go out and get a drink after dinner!!

Anonymous said...

Capote is the movie about Truman Capote, the author. He wrote In Cold Blood (really good) and many other books. Anyways, apparently the movie is supposed to be good.

Oh kelly, no holes in my argument, what are you talking about?!? haha. Love you, but i am hurt that you dont want to dine with me friday night. i havent seen you in 2 weeks.

Katie, kel doesnt do drinks, as mentioned above, she passes out on tables and wakes up in not very good moods while others around her do drinks....

Anonymous said...

bum doesn't have the appropriate equipment....he's asexual! Unless Kurt reconsiders.

I'm a direct result of media influence. The media FORCED me to like Eminem. I couldn't help myself and it was all the media's fault!

So listen to Bum's preaching b/c it is definitely legitimate!

Anonymous said...

Why are we not talking about my fantastic performance on Tuesday night. I often wonder if the media forces people to HATE me. I mean, I am the best basketball player in college and very few people like me.

Anonymous said...

The media forces people to hate everyone and everything associated with duke basketball. It is really unfortunate... 3 refs get suspended for a game because of a call on one play and, again, its duke never has anything called against them, blah blah blah. The refs, in turn, were scared to call anything against UNC the other night for fear of getting suspended. Was it a double technical, probly not, but that was up to the discretion of the refs- as is every call during that 40 min time period. How often do you hear about them getting suspended for a bad call though? not a whole hell of a lot....

Anonymous said...

I have no true friends. I'm sorry- i'm torn. i haven't seen katie since Christmas, so you two can fight over me :-) :-) and I'm not very inclined to hang out with people who make fun of me! I fell asleep ONCE at the bar. big deal!

Anonymous said...

ahahahaha. falling asleep only once at the bar is once too many! hahahahaha.

Anonymous said...

Ben: update!